By The Way, We Are In The Middle Of A Pandemic!

I haven't been blogging, which doesn't make sense since I love to blog. But it seems odd to not blog about the biggest pandemic of this century. We started to hear about Covid-19 in January when the first case was reported in the United States. I remember we went to see Sarah McLachlan on February 21, and sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with other fans, briefly worrying that when people coughed that they might be carriers.

In March, when Governor Sisolak declared a state of emergency in Nevada, we began to shelter in place. Since that time, we have been mostly staying home and having necessities delivered, with the exception of an occasional Sunday drive or trip to Costco or the hardware store. We go out so infrequently that when we do go out, it seems surreal and a little disorienting. When we do go out, we take all of the precautions, including masks, hand sanitizers, tissues in case we need to touch our face, breath mints. We have face shields but haven't started using them yet. I think I might start using a shield over my mask- maybe it will start a trend.

We are fortunate that both my husband and I are able to work from home and my youngest son can also attend college from home. My heart goes out to all of the people who have been laid off. I find my job to be very stressful, but still, I am thankful.

Our disabled son has life-threatening medical conditions that make it very dangerous for him to contract the virus. He has been unable to attend the adult daycare program where he typically goes during the day. Although I am his primary caregiver, my husband, and youngest son, and I share the responsibilities for his care. I would not be able to do it alone and work full time. Also, because he is an adult male, I have stepped back from his more intimate personal care, and my husband provides that. Recently I was called for jury duty, but I received an exemption. Normally I would be glad to perform jury duty for my community, but at this time my disabled son's situation is just too tenuous.

I have been having nightmares. It's terrifying to me to consider that I might lose someone that I love. I absolutely HATE IT when people tell me, "then stop watching the news." That's bullshit. The media is not the problem. The problem is that there is an actual, factual virus that is highly transmissible and is causing people to need hospitalization. Let's forget about the death rate for a moment. Let's just think about those lucky people who only get off with a hospital stay and a big hospital bill. Now, that's pretty damned awful, but now, what about those people who will never fully recover? Those people with permanently damaged lungs, brain damage, or strokes? How about those people who are cheered on as they leave the hospital because they survived - but they will be partly disabled for the rest of their lives? And then of course, there is a high death rate. All of this would be bad enough, except there are so many selfish people who are more concerned about their personal comfort than the fact they might be asymptomatic carriers and spreading the disease to others? As far as I am concerned, EVERY person I see outside of my home is a potential carrier, and if they are not wearing a mask - I do not care what their excuse is - then they are a person who doesn't give a crap about anyone but themselves. Period. This is especially true of the self-entitled idiot who threw a tantrum because she couldn't get service in a Starbucks because she wasn't wearing a mask. That type of behavior is disgusting. Don't even try to convince me otherwise - ti won't work. No wonder I am having nightmares. I try to remember what Fred Rogers said: "Look for the helpers." If I didn't think about those wonderful individuals who provide essential services - while practicing safe measures - I don't know what I would do.

This pandemic has me feeling a bit like Sleeping Beauty. I feel like I have been so overwhelmed by the fact that people are sick and dying and the crisis is so badly mismanaged, and so many people are reacting so selfishly and irrationally, that my life is not the same. The situation is taking up part of my brain activity.

I'm usually a very goal-oriented person, but right now it seems my main goal is, "Help make sure my family members survive the pandemic." Everything else can wait. The good news is, lately the nightmares are fewer and less intense.