Sekhmet

The Temple of Goddess Spirituality Dedicated to Sekhmet in Indian Springs Nevada has been a special place for me for 25 years. I have recently felt deeply conflicted between my love for the temple, the land and what it means to me, and recent events that conflict with my personal values. My sadness at the knowledge that I may never go back there is almost at the level of grieving.

A coworker introduced me to the temple in 1995, when I explored the temple and grounds for the first time. Later, the first ritual I attended there was an OTO ritual held in on the land in front of the temple. In January of 1996, I ended a relationship with a guy whom I found out was seeing someone else behind my back. In solitude, I went to the Temple and burned all of our correspondence and my journal entries about him - back then we still wrote on paper with ink. As the papers burned, I asked the Goddess for someone who was right for me, and for the good of all concerned. I didn't have anything specific in mind, just what was right for me and right for the other person and everyone else. This might sound crazy, but Her presence felt strong in that temple as I burned those letters. Coincidentally, at around the same time, my now-husband Michael was "sending out to the universe" that he was ready for a relationship, and we were dating by February, living together by April. Since then, we've had two children together and have been together for 24 years.

At the time in 1996, I was seeking a group of like-minded individuals with whom I felt comfortable and with whom I could celebrate and explore my earth-based spiritual path. It wasn't easy. I joined a local group in town called Desert Moon Circle, and my experiences there were so joyful that I never felt a desire to formally join the group at the temple. Still, I went to the temple several times a year, to commune with nature and the Goddess, to meditate, to experience the peace of the area, and to attend the festivals and larger events that were held by other groups in the area.

Caretaker and priestess Patricia Pearlman became a good friend, and she presided over my youngest son's baby blessing in the fall of 2001, along with close friends from Desert Moon Circle. Patricia had explained to me that the temple was a place for the Divine Feminine, intended to balance out the toxic masculine war energy coming from the nearby Nevada Nuclear Test site. For that reason, there were no images of male Gods inside the temple, and no male priests served the Goddess of the temple, only female priestesses. When I let Patricia know that it was important to me that we call both the Goddess and the God into my son's blessing circle, she said we could hold it on the land in front of the temple rather than inside the temple, and that's what we did. I still remember several visits to her home by the temple, chatting and drinking tea, and visiting the guest house, where women could go for respite. Later, when I was also involved with the CUUPS group Agave Spirit Grove, we held a weekend retreat at the guest house. The thing that was so special about Patricia was that she met people where they are and then looked for ways to be of service, rather than expecting others to pay homage to her. Patricia's acceptance, kindness, and generosity was always an inspiration. In the early 2000's I began to attend Interfaith Council forums with her, and when she became ill I was honored when she asked me to take her place at some of some those forums, representing earth-based spirituality. We remained friends until her death in 2004.

After Patricia's passing, I continued to remain connected to the Temple through the priestesses Anne Key and Candace Kant, and attended a couple of the Sekhmet Festivals at the Temple. I wrote a hymn to Hathor, which was translated into Egyptian by a friend, and then rewritten for Sekhmet for one of the Sekhmet festivals:

Nisen tu, Sekhmet
Khebi Henan, Sekhmet
Sankhetch en, Sekhmet
Meritch en, Sekhmet

Roughly translated, it means, "Come to us Sekhmet, Dance with us Sekhmet, Nourish us Sekhmet, Bless us Sekhmet."

By the time Candace Ross became temple priestess, I had ceased many of my volunteer activities in the community, and spent less time at the temple, although I still attended the annual Bone Dance Event led by Desert Moon Circle, and the Wickerman rituals at Lammas, led by Desert Moon circle, as well as other workshops, retreats, and gatherings, and I continued to stop by on occasion to enjoy the quiet and sit with the Goddess.

For me personally, while I feel a connection to the Goddess, my spirituality calls for a balance of masculine and feminine Gods and Goddesses, and rather than removing men from the priesthood, I believe it's best to bring them to the table so that we can be equal together. I believe that men can help end oppression too. As a feminist who was raising my three sons to be feminists, I did not wish to teach them that they could not serve the Gods/Goddesses in any way they choose, including as priests if that was their choice. As a woman, I had been denied opportunities, and I didn't think that the solution was to deny opportunity, no matter anyone's gender. For this reason, while I visited the temple many times over the years, I could not fully dedicate myself to the temple. My relationship with the temple felt a bit complicated because while I felt a deep and profound connection to it, and while it was a part of the larger community and the groups I was involved with led gatherings there, I felt conflicted about the temple policies concerning the exclusion of male participation. I had been fighting for equal rights and equal opportunities for myself all my life, and it to me it would feel hypocritical to treat men as less than equal. I could not agree that the solution to the imbalance of representation in society was an imbalance of representation in sacred space. Without realizing it, women can be patriarchal and toxic too, and people of all genders need to learn a new way of being, a new way of inclusive decision making, shared leadership, and nonviolent communication. Awareness and intention matter far more than gender. I have to admit that at the time I was still thinking in binary terms, and the greater truth is that gender should be of no consequence.

Once, while experiencing this conflict, I sat in front of the statue of Sekhmet in the temple and meditated. In my mind, I let Her know that I was sorry that I didn't come out more often. It is over an hour's drive away from the city, and that's a lot of time and a lot of gas. I thanked her in my mind for all that she has shown me and done for me over the years. And in my mind, she said, "You don't have to come out here. You keep a temple for me in your heart. You can make a shrine to me in your home." I immediately saw the truth in that. At some time later, vandals carried off the statue of Sekhmet and destroyed it. A new statue was put in its place, and others placed copies of the same statue in their gardens in the city. I couldn't afford a life-sized statue of the goddess - my altar to Sekhmet was a bookshelf, and her statue was only a few inches tall. The theft of the statue was a terrible thing, and it took time to adjust to the replacement, but it underscored an important point - Sekhmet is not just a place, and not just a statue.

Recently, it became known that the founder of the temple is of the belief that transgender females are not women, and as men, cannot serve the temple as priestesses. When I found out, I was heartbroken. This goes far beyond the exclusion of men. I try to act according to my conscience, and I cannot support any effort that discriminates against anyone, especially transgender women. If someone is a woman, they are a woman, regardless of gender at birth. While I still feel tied to the land where the temple sits and to the Goddess there, and while I have many memories there - burning the letters and asking for the deepest desire of my heart, dancing around the fire with friends until the sun came up, watching my dear friend Katlyn plant my son's feet in the earth for the first time, weekend retreats where friends shared their epiphanies, making friends, of burning the Wickerman each year for several years at Lammas, bringing my parents out there so that they could understand what I do and believe, teaching my sons about the Goddess, visiting the hidden spring, walking the labyrinth, singing to the sun as it rose, bringing offerings for the temple as well as donations and furniture for the guest house, watching Patricia's ashes flying on the wind - literally hundreds of formative experiences - I know that I have been having these experiences without knowing of transphobic beliefs of the founder. Now that I know, I can never go back. Even though my love for the Goddess is far deeper than any connection with the founder of the temple, and hundreds of people have had their own connection to the temple, to the Goddess, and to the land, and though I love so many of those people who go there, I cannot support the founder's views in any way. People might argue that the founder was absent and it was run by her priestesses, and the beliefs and contributions of the community that shared it are far more relevant. But the world is rife with hatred, corruption, greed, discrimination, and oppression, and the only thing I can do is support the places that further causes of love and acceptance, and avoid those that do not. The founder believes that she is creating a more loving and generous society by only allowing cisgender women to be in leadership roles, but in my experience, her way is a corruption of love and generosity that taints everything it touches. I remember what Sekhmet said to me in meditation - I carry Her with me in my heart, and I keep a temple to her in my home.

Recently I found a statue of Sekhmet that I like much better than the small bookshelf one. It's 11" high, and gorgeous. I've purchased it, and it's on the way. I'll need to find a place for her altar. This pandemic has been a time of many changes. When things change, we don't benefit from dwelling on the past. We must go toward the future.